When you were little
When you were little, bad things happened to you.
Your parents or your care takers, your primary source of nurturing who were supposed to be there for you, were dismissive or uncaring or busy, the environment might have been unsafe and sometimes even dangerous. You grew up feeling unprotected and uncared for .
Parents’ love molds your developmental growth in childhood which eventually is being carried into adulthood.
Here are 9 things that you want to know once you commit to healing early life trauma
1. Contrary to common knowledge you don’t have to go through huge and dramatic emotional releases, unless they happen organically and periodically.
2. A study that was conducted for a number of years discovered that if you don’t heal your early life adversity at the root level you can eventually suffer a chronic illness later in life: addiction, obesity, autoimmune disorders, fibromyalgia and more.
3. The ideal age to regulate your nervous system are the first 3 years of life
4. Going through the work of healing isn’t always about wonderful, wonderment and butterflies. It’s a commitment that can be challenging but it’s totally doable.
5. Memories- you don’t necessarily have memories. Often you don’t. Memories can feel like many things: sensations, coolness in the body, speeding heart, rage coming out of nowhere. These aren’t cognitive they are somatic.
6. You have to heal at your own pace. Don’t be a hero! Don’t push too much! Slow down! Listen to your body.
6. It’s ok to not be perfect. It’s ok not to help the world, or be a type A personality.
7. Work at the body-mind level. Trauma happens in the body and that’s where it resides.
8. You don’t need to make amends with the people who hurt you. They might not be interested in the same things you are interested in, or in healing themselves. Don’t force yourself on them.
9. Don’t do it alone. Have a connection. Not always grandiose one. Small way that feels safe for you.
Hope that helps,
and until next time-