think back to your childhood days.
you are sensitive and creative; you lived through a “bad” childhood where you lacked emotional care, safety was an unheard concept, and expressing your emotions wasn’t the norm.
are there still painful memories burning at your core? no matter how many years passed by?
even if the memories aren’t clear, your body remembers and is expressing the emotional pain that is locked within.
how can the body remember something? it doesn’t have a ‘mind”
well it does. your nervous system remembers through felt body sensations, or by getting activated all of a sudden by an image, a person, an event: a tensing, a collapsing, or a feeling overwhelmed.
and even though you cannot understand how you are still affected, you are quick to respond to what you perceive as a sense of thereat, danger, impulsivity of anger or anxiety, the need to run away or to freeze.
perhaps you have gone through life and:
- looked the other way?
- pretend there was no pain?
- got used to it?
the wall
and then, all of a sudden something interesting started to happen. a strong wall was slowly being built around you. it kept you safe and calm within and got the chaos and the threats out.
on the other hand, without noticing or intending you ended up trapped. the wall closed down on you and on your heart, and stopped you from living a life of love and trust.
one brick at a time, one year at a time, the wall gets higher and thicker.
and…
something in you started to close off. your inner treasures, your light got dimmed and you started to feel that life is dull, with no meaning, burdened by a huge and heavy weight of fears, emotional paralysis, loneliness, and even physical illnesses.
you survived your bad childhood but you are still carrying its emotional pain in your heart.
the issues of the heart need gentle caring touch. they are not a problem that you need to solve, but rather delicate body mind and soul work of discovering your inner resources, your strengths and your gifts.
what is the cost of not choosing that?
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